Still waiting.

heart:

i think it’s funny how we all desire to be loved by someone else when we can’t even love ourselves.

I can’t decide if I’m being over dramatic or not but I wouldn’t mind just dying. I literally have no friends plus I hate everyone. My best friend is someone I can’t compete with ever, she’s too perfect period. All the others are just people that have bad taste in friends till I’m a bitch to them and they eventually leave me alone then it starts to sadden me eventually. My mom occasionally says she hates me but I don’t think she means it, she just says it but she doesn’t know how much that affects me, my dad is struggling and living hundreds of miles away and that makes me even more sad, my sisters are kinda not even sisters, My social life is shit, my boyfriend is thousands of miles away, my best friend isn’t really much if the role of being the best, I know in her head she’d pick her boyfriend over me, that’s okay though I understand that. My life is literally a pile of shit & no one is worth continuing this pile of shit. I know some people will be sad but those are the people that make my life sad so it’s kinda like I’m returning the favor. I’ve been waiting a really long time just waiting for just something to happen that’s worth sucking it in just a little whole till I go anywhere but here and actually develop a life. But I’ve been waiting for years and nothing. So why not.